Present

There has been this scene that has been playing over and over in my head and I have been so torn about writing about it. It was something that I saw tonight that really disturbed me. I thought that maybe I could look past it, but I cant stop thinking about it.

Tonight I went bowling for the first time in a long time. It was good times shared with friends. On the lane next to us was a father and daughter who were bowling together. It was really nice to see that they were able to share quality time together doing something that they both enjoyed. The girl was actually a pretty good bowler.

There was one shot that she took that almost looked like she wasnt going to pick up the spare, but at the last moment a pin ricocheted and hit the last pin standing. I could see the joy that she had in her body language. She turned around with the biggest grin on her face and her eyes shot straight towards her dad. I could tell that she wanted to see the look of amazement from her fathers eyes as that would be a sign of how proud he was of her. Instead, as she turned around with the big smile on her face she saw her dad looking down at his iPhone. Her demeanor went from joy to sadness.

Now dont get me wrong, that was the only occasion. The rest of the night they were a close and loving family.

The reason I tell this story is because it really bothered me. I have to ask myself if I am present in the moments that I am in. Where do we center our lives? Is it around the moment that we are in or is it around trying to take ourselves out of that moment?

When I am in my car, am I lost in my cool GPS or iPod dock? When I am at a restaurant with friends, am I lost in a text conversation? When I am on my phone, am I lost in trying to find something on tv? When I am watching a movie, am I lost in trying to Twitter about it?

I know that there are many precious moments that I miss in my life because of those distractions and I know that there are other peoples moments that I miss because of the same reason.

Although we may be able to look back on pictures and videos, it will never feel the same as when it happened. We only experience each moment in time once and that the gift of the present.

Realizing

As I count down the days, the world around me gets better and better. It is because of that feeling that I start feeling a bit down.

Today was my last day working at what I referred to as my morning job. For those who still dont know what I did (saying did sounds really weird to me), I worked for my uncle manufacturing and shipping all the products on this website LeadBox.com.

Ive really been reflecting recently on all the memories I have had with many people. Thats what makes this hard I guess, the fact that I will be away for awhile not spending it with those people.

But this has helped me so much in a way as well. There are many people that I would love to spend at least one more minute with, but I begin realizing that the chances are really slim. It is because of realizing this that I have come to appreciate the memories that I have. Whether those memories are from long ago or just recently, or if those moments lasted a long time or if they seemed to go by really fast... Everything means so much more to me now. It is because of the people that we meet in our lives that make who we are today. It is the people that we try so hard to be with that define who we want to be in life.

I can truly say that I have surrounded myself with awesome people and that there are some awesome people that I may never see again that I have changed my life in profound ways.

Even though I am saddened, I really feel blessed in my life because of the people who have come into it.

You have been a light, an inspiration, and a motivation to me... and I thank you for that. I dont think I will ever be able to really explain what you have done, but I can honestly say that it has been through the Lord's work. I promise you my prayers, my thoughts, and a piece of my heart.

Chapters

Back in the day when I worked at Knott’s, there was a guest speaker who came out to talk to all the members of management. I honestly can’t remember exactly what his topic was, but he posed a question that has stuck in my mind ever since. He asked, “If you had to choose 5 moments in your life that define who you are, what would they be?”. The 5 moments have changed for me so many times as I come across new experiences, but that is expected as we continue to live our lives.

I look back now, and it is impossible for me to only choose 5 moments, especially when I think about the moments in my life that have formed me spiritually. There is so much that has happened that has led me to where I am today and towards the future endeavors I am moving towards. Baptism, First Communion, Confirmation, my emotional downfall, my conversion, youth group, NCP, NET Interview, and meeting people who have changed my life without even knowing it are just a few of the countless moments that I can mention.

Here’s the problem that I have realized though with the earlier moments. I’ve realized that I didn’t recognize the importance of the moments and that makes me feel like I didn’t truly live in those moments. I realize that there are times when we may not understand the impact an event has on our lives until it has passed, but that just motivates me to LIVE IN EVERY MOMENT.

When I read a book, I really try to live in the eyes of the characters in that book. Our lives though are a story as well. We are living in the book that is being written as we live. Every person that we meet is a character to add to our story. Everywhere we go is a new setting. All the happiness and sadness helps keep our story interesting. Every moment and event that we go through is a chapter that we can add to the story of who we are.

If we look back at the Gospels, we are graced with the opportunity to know who Jesus was. We know where He went, who He was hanging out with, and what He did. It is because of that that I can truly walk with Him in my life. I can live with Him in my life. I can model my life off of what He did.

What will the book of your life look like? What stories will it tell? What message will it get across? Those are just a few questions that we can look back on as we near the end of our story, but there is a question that will have more meaning to us. Did I live in those moments?

Don’t just let life pass you by. Don’t let your life just be moments that you will reflect back on. Make those moments ones that you have lived through.







At the moments, I am sitting here restless. I am trying to find my focus through the distraction that makes my heart skip a beat. I am also figuring out how I am going to live out these next 53 days that I am here in the comfort of the place and people that I know.

Restless

I fight with the struggles going on inside
As the days so quickly pass me by
Looking back at the past and looking towards my future
Living in the present, this moment, feeling so unsure
My mind tells me one thing
My heart says another
I know what I desire
But it’s really up to the Father
I seek, I ask, I knock trying to find it
But at this point, to you Lord I commend my spirit

Defy

this is from a year ago

Quote of the Week for June 16th 2008

"The will to persevere seperates failure from success. So, when life brings you down in a wicked way, defy gravity and stay standing."
(and yes that is a reference to the AWESOME broadway musical Wicked)


When things aren't going our way, what do we do about it? Do we let life keep us down or do we take control of our minds and our lives and get back up? It has been said, "It's not how many times you fall down, but how many times you get up."

Did:
- The little engine that could back up when he came to the hill?
- Simba give up his throne after his father had died?
- Alladin decide not to persue Princess Jasmine because he was a street rat?
- Did Oscar Pistorius cive up in his dreams? (http://www.spectrum.ieee.org/print/2189)


It's hard to avoid life getting you down, but dont let it KEEP you down.

Im Leaving Cerritos

So I have been hinting about this for some time now and now I can tell you the full story.

This August I will be leaving Cerritos for at least 9 months. I have been accepted to be a part of an organization called NET Ministries. To keep this short, I will basically be traveling around the country facilitating Catholic Youth Group retreats. Below I have included a 7 minute video that shows what I could possibly bo doing. Also, I have put the link to the website of the organization.

I really wanted to write more about this, but I am sure there will be more to come soon.




http://netusa.org

Direction

The other night I was driving to meet up with a friend to get some buffalo wings. I was going to a place that I had been to many times before, but this time I decided to use my GPS system to get there. As I was driving, the GPS was telling me to go a route that I had never taken before. I started talking to my GPS system because thats what I do when i am driving alone. I was telling it how stupid it was because there was a way better way to go and that there was no reason for me to go in the direction that it was telling me to go. So, to prove my point to my GPS system, I decided that I would just follow the route that it was taking me so I could tell it how dumb it was for taking me that route. In the end, it was a way better route than what I had taken before.



Warning (mainly for Nate): This blog is about to get a bit on the religious and spiritual side. I think my blogs will mainly be like that from now on.



So, what is the point of my story?

There are many things that we know in life. In this situation, I knew where I was coming from. Home. I knew where I wanted to end up. Buffalo wings. I knew a way to get there. Longer stupid route. What I didnt know at the time was that there was a better route. The way that I had to find that out was to put my trust in the GPS system.

Here's what I know about my life. I know where I started. Birth. I know where I want to end up. Heaven. I know that there are many paths that I can take to reach that goal, but what I really have to understand is that God has a planned route for me. He has set the best course for me to take, but He also knows that I can still choose to take a detour as well or go my own way. So what does this mean? It means that for me to take the best route, which is God's route. I need to surrender myself to His plan. I have to tell myself that it doesnt matter which way I want to go, it's more of which way He wants me to go.

I've been wanting to write about this for awhile now, but it wasn't until tonight that I had the inspiration to write it out. Here is a passage from the book that I am reading, "God's Gonna Make You Laugh":

"If you were to have a map, you would never listen for the voice of the Lord. But without a map you will be inclined to follow only His directions, listen only to His instructions, and heed only His voice. Without a map, you have no other method of knowing how to get where you are going other than to listen to Him. The whole idea is that God is determined to get you in a place where you fully rely on Him. Any any other voice but His, you'll block out, knowing that additional voices will only bring gross confusion, causing you to travel in endless circles, making no real progress toward His intended goal for you."



Sometimes we find ourselves at a point in our lives where we dont know what to do. We are pressured to be successful by the standards set by society and to live up to the expectations of those who we associate ourselves with. One thing that we can do in this situation is to find a place of solitude and silence. Take some time to reflect on where we have come, what we have been through, and where we want to be. Take all that, plug it in, and let GPS "God's Planned Sacrifice" lead the way.

Change

It would be really easy for me to make reference to all the changes that are going on in the world. American has a new president, the economy is going through some really hard times, and the ever changing climate around the world. But im not going to. Instead I am going to tell you about an ant.

The other day I was sitting down for dinner and I noticed an ant walking around on the table. I had to stop myself from my first reaction of killing it. Instead, I gently blew on it and it went flying away unharmed.

I can only imagine what was going through the mind of that ant. There it was just minding its own business and going about it life when all of a sudden a gust of wind throws it into a totally different place.

I came into this year not knowing what was going to happen. I was even a bit scared because I felt as if I had no direction. That this new year had no hope for me. But I felt definitely felt the winds of change and it is hopefully taking me in a direction that I want to go in.

There are many times in our lives when we feel the winds of change.. We go about our day when all of a sudden something big may throw us off course. Maybe it will change our day, week, month, years, or even life. A bad grade, sickness, tragedy, motivation, or even inspiration. But how do we deal with the wind? Do we just let it push us around? Do we try to block it? Do we just go with the flow? Do we stand against it analyzing where it wants to take us and then decide whether or not we should go with it?

I cant tell you what the best answer is for it cause it will vary from situation to situation, but I can tell you what that ant did. I was able to see where it landed after I had blown it away. At first it seemed a little shocked by what had just happened. It looked around at its new environment and just kept going about its business. It didn’t let this huge change really affect it.

It’s funny how sometimes the smallest of things can be so inspirational